Someone goes quiet for an afternoon, and your mind races to the end of the relationship.
Understand the feelings and relationship patterns that keep repeating
A slow reply can feel like rejection, a good day can flip in an hour, and the people you love most can feel like the hardest to keep. Answer 62 questions to see which of six patterns linked to borderline traits stand out in your life, with the situations behind them and clear words to take to a therapist.
- Which of six emotional and relationship patterns stand out
- The situations from your own life behind each pattern
- Clear words and questions to bring to a therapist
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Patterns that are hard to explain from the inside
A feeling goes from zero to overwhelming before you can find the brakes, and the regret comes later.
You feel like a different person depending on who you are with, and sometimes like no one at all.
You may recognize several of these, one, or none. Naming the pattern is a first step toward feeling steadier, not a label.
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Six patterns, considered separately
Emotional intensity and fast shifts
How quickly feelings rise, how strongly your body joins in, and how long it takes to come back down.
Fear of abandonment
How quickly distance, silence, or a change in tone sets off the fear that an important relationship is about to end.
Relationship swings: idealizing and devaluing
How much one good or painful moment can change how you see a person and the whole relationship.
Sense of self and emptiness
How steady your sense of who you are feels across relationships and moods, and how often emptiness or detachment shows up.
Impulsive ways of coping
Whether intense pain brings an urge to do something fast, so you can stop feeling it for a while.
Anger and regret
How fast hurt turns into anger, and what happens between an outburst, the regret that follows, and repair.
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From intense moments to a clearer picture
Describe what happens
Answer 48 questions on how often these experiences happen and 14 questions about your triggers, health, and needs.
See your preview
See which of six patterns stand out in your answers and the statements behind them.
Choose useful detail
Use the free help information or choose the optional paid report for a fuller explanation and therapist questions.
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Information you can use beyond the result page
A six-area profile of your emotional and relationship patterns
The answers behind each pattern, alongside your triggers and context
Steadying skills to try and questions for a therapist
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Who this self-check is for
- You are an adult who wants to understand intense feelings, relationship swings, or a shaky sense of self in your own life.
- You are curious, wondering whether BPD fits you, or preparing to talk with a therapist.
- If you are thinking about harming yourself or are in crisis, call or text 988 first; this self-check cannot assess urgent risk.
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Built around the patterns clinicians look for
48 questions cover six areas that clinicians and public health sources describe in borderline personality disorder: emotional intensity, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, sense of self and emptiness, impulsivity, and anger. The questions are original, and this is a self-check, not a diagnosis.
62 questions · 6 areas · About 8–12 minutes
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Questions before you begin
What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition marked by intense emotions that shift quickly, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, an unsteady sense of self, and impulsive behavior. A mental health professional diagnoses it, usually after a detailed conversation about how long these patterns have lasted and how they affect daily life. Many people with BPD improve substantially with treatment.
Can this test tell me whether I have BPD?
No. It shows which of six areas your answers emphasize and how they connect, with the statements behind each reading. A diagnosis depends on a professional assessment that considers your history, how consistent the patterns are across time and relationships, and other explanations such as trauma, PTSD, depression, bipolar disorder, or ADHD.
Does recognizing some of these traits mean something is wrong with me?
No. Most people recognize some of these experiences at times, especially under stress or after a loss. What matters is how intense, lasting, and costly the patterns are for you. Strong feelings and a deep need for connection often have understandable roots, and noticing them is a useful first step, not a verdict.
Is BPD treatable?
Yes. Psychotherapy is the main treatment, and approaches such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and mentalization-based therapy have good evidence. Many people find their symptoms ease considerably over time. No medication is specifically approved to treat BPD, but medication is sometimes used for related problems such as depression or anxiety.
Can I take this test for my partner or a family member?
No. The questions are written for you to answer about your own experience, and using them to label someone else is likely to be inaccurate and hurtful. If someone else’s behavior worries you or makes you feel unsafe, it is worth talking it through with a professional or a support service.
Is the test free, and do I need the paid report to get help?
The questions and initial preview are free. You can choose a paid full report to read online and download as a PDF. You never need to buy a report to contact a therapist or read the free help information, and if you are struggling right now, you can call or text 988 at any time.